Faith Long (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
charitylovehopefaith) wrote2013-09-19 06:49 pm
charitylovehopefaith) wrote2013-09-19 06:49 pm
The Eighth - [written]
September 19th,
I do not know what to think of myself, but I think I understand my father and brother a little better now. I used to wonder how they could leave for months and, after a time, forget to write. I wondered how they could stand it, being away from their homes and their families for so long.
I have been here for eight months now, and my brother has been absent for the last month. I find I miss him -- indeed, I miss all of the friends I know and the family I hold dear -- less with every day that passes. Staying here is not ideal, no. It is even dangerous, and yet I do not have a strong desire to return. I wonder if this is how my father and brother feel out to sea.
I am not wholly sure I even like this feeling. It seems dangerous to me, to think less and less of home and of returning, yet, I find I cannot force a change of mind nor am I entirely certain I wish to do that. I admit, I do not know my own mind, not even enough to say my opinion on these changes. Perhaps that is why I put pen to paper, to try and understand myself better.
It has yet to help.
Faith Long
I do not know what to think of myself, but I think I understand my father and brother a little better now. I used to wonder how they could leave for months and, after a time, forget to write. I wondered how they could stand it, being away from their homes and their families for so long.
I have been here for eight months now, and my brother has been absent for the last month. I find I miss him -- indeed, I miss all of the friends I know and the family I hold dear -- less with every day that passes. Staying here is not ideal, no. It is even dangerous, and yet I do not have a strong desire to return. I wonder if this is how my father and brother feel out to sea.
I am not wholly sure I even like this feeling. It seems dangerous to me, to think less and less of home and of returning, yet, I find I cannot force a change of mind nor am I entirely certain I wish to do that. I admit, I do not know my own mind, not even enough to say my opinion on these changes. Perhaps that is why I put pen to paper, to try and understand myself better.
It has yet to help.
Faith Long